RG
Director / Photographer

Blog

What Happened When I Bought a Cinema Camera

Editor’s note: Originally Published 9/29/2020 but had to republish later when fixing display issues.

Above: Instagram Story from July 27th, 2020

When I first considered this camera I thought I should wait til next year or later to get something like this because I'm not good enough yet. This was all around July 27th. That was very lazy of me to think. I have used a RED once very briefly and own a Sony A7SII and several lenses. I've gotten pretty tired of the 8-bit even though it looks pretty good to most I just wanted more. And I know that is selfish and not very specific so I went on a long process to figure out how to justify this investment. As of today I’ve shot 4 projects with it with more on the way. This behemoth of a post is some insight into how I got here.

The long story is below. The short is - I could've decided to buy this even sooner or I could've waited even longer but I decided sooner is better and more information or waiting wasn’t going to make a difference. It's worked out alright by my measure and seems to be trending upward. The more I looked at it, talked about it, and thought about it - the more I wanted it so instead of thinking I don't have the resources yet - I thought how can I get the resources? Why should I buy it? Why shouldn't I? What's the worst that will happen? What are the upsides? In this process I learned a few things about my business and myself.

One of the better replies to my IG story was "world's ending so fuck it, just get it man" or something to that effect. Honestly I should've just done it right after that. That said after even just floating the idea several people offered advice or guidance on how and why I could get it. It's amazing how people really do want to help.

First I learned that purchasing a large asset like this for a business is not the same as buying something expensive for yourself. This particular camera is a workhorse meant to generate $, mostly for solo operators. There's people like me who will buy it but there's also lots of people who buy the camera for broadcast and ENG (electronic news gathering). This camera and knowing how to use it will get you hired on some productions because it has the right specs to match the production standards they've established.

You can buy the camera outright if you have the cash but even if I had the cash (I didn't) it still probably doesn't make sense to do so. Lots of people finance their cameras especially the more expensive Alexa's and Venice's which run in the $60k+ range. I didn't consider the more expensive cameras because two features in particular on the FX9 allow me to operate it solo very well - the autofocus and the variable ND. Also I already own Sony E-Mount lenses. There were a few factors that helped me speed up my decision to finance it.

  • I qualified for the 0% for 24 months offer Sony had

  • Sony makes the first payment

  • I could use section 179 to recognize the full cost this year on my taxes instead of depreciating it

  • With 1 rental or 1 camera package day rate I could make the camera payment each month

  • My forecasting predicted I'd pay off the camera in a year or so possibly less

Then I thought about all the worst things that could happen if this was a mistake.

  • No one hires me

  • I have to return the camera

  • I can't make payments

  • I have to move out of my apt or NYC

  • Credit score goes bad

  • I shutter my business

  • I look bad and am embarrassed and then die from shame

Most of these are unlikely to happen unless I put in zero effort but I think the one I was actually afraid of was how I would be perceived if I made this decision and it didn't pan out.

In this time I also thought about myself. Do people know I work on video? How much of my previous professional chapters are still fresh in people minds? Do the new people I've met understand what I do? And in general I wondered, am I doing everything I can to be in the business I want to be?

And so began my "biz dev blitz". A list of tactical actions to overcome my anxiety and build a more serious business. I had to get a good understanding of where others saw me. Not just where I wanted to go. I started with sending emails to friends, old co-workers, colleagues, and strangers. Just getting a general survey out there to figure out where I stood in people's minds and what they thought about video in general. Who are the ones they're watching or loving. And what could I do to be in the running. Example of an e-mail I sent below.

Hey thanks so much for being open to answering my questions!


So I'm doing research on video production which this year I've been able to make my main source of income. I had a great start to the year but things slowed down and I want to learn how I can structure my offering to pick up the momentum for the rest of the year and start mapping out 2021.

Questions below!

- How have your video priorities changed?
- Who are some of your favorite video production partners to work with (or just portfolios you like, i.e. Stinkfilms)? Anything particularly special or different they do?
- What are your top challenges/pain points with getting any video assets created now?
- Did you know I've been focused on more corporate, documentary, product, and commercial video? 

- Bonus: Any tips or general pointers on how I could present myself better? Currently updating my site, creating Instagram Story Highlights of work/availability, and continuing the exercise of recreating/making ads or movie scenes I like. 

Thanks so much and totally understand if you're too busy. 

One mini-epiphany I had is this is something I should probably do semi-regularly or maybe it is just important right now til I find a more solid footing. My business is new and I'm trying to grow it. But the main thing I want to note here is that there is work to be done that isn't just making videos. If I were to use an Eisenhower matrix this would go under the important but not urgent pile. I had my rent paid, food in the fridge, and then some, so it was time to think about expansion and growth not just the next check. I gathered research, opinions, and notes from all of my responses. I had some amazing conversations and thought about what it means to be running a small and growing business.

My hypothesis was that I could fit into a niche of a 1-man band but on higher end productions. As an owner operator with all the right equipment I could film pretty much anything. I had done the scrappy low budget social first content early in my career. I’m over that. My focus now would try to be on things with interviews or scripts as that fits more into working with talent vs still life. This pool is also smaller than everyone who now owns an iPhone, mirrorless camera, or DSLR and makes videos. There is a philosophy that you can make a movie with any camera and I love that sentiment. But the industry has not shifted to just using iPhones and mirrorless cameras. Movies, commercials, documentaries, and shows are still made with cinema cameras and large teams.

I looked at portfolio sites, agency sites, and reels from all over. Somesuch, iconoclast, stink, pulse, mssngpeces, etc. They all look very cool and dope and surprisingly dark. Also so much film. I've never even shot on film. How do I compete with this? I legit cannot. I honestly don’t like my reel at the moment which is why I've avoided making one. In the last year I've shot things that feel like they're closer to where I want to be but not enough to make a proper reel. From a client POV though my work is good and I believe it is enough to get me more work at my level.

The other thing I realized is all of my presence online doesn't really point to the fact that I am trying to run a video business. Again I've overthought this. Does it look desperate? Why can't I just tweet hot takes and dumb memes? I can't just post 50 stories of my plants and what I eat? Self promotion feels unnatural and gross because its like "hey look at me I want to make things with my camera for money" and that can come across as even more tone deaf right now. Mentally I had to get over this perception because it is crippling. I have chosen to not work as a full-time employee somewhere and waiting for the next e-mail about a shoot to come at just the right time is not sustainable. Rent's due on the 1st. I need a healthy pipeline of conversations that could lead to paid projects.

Maybe there is a world where I can tweet buck wild while getting work but I'm not that established and I don't have an agent getting me clients. I had to get how others use social out of my head when I was thinking about Instagram and Twitter. What actually works best for me? It's kind of funny that I'm so concerned about this but when I got my arms tattooed I went for the "jobstopper" (where my artist went above my wrists) I didn't care at all.

The simplest thing would be to just ask for work. I didn't want to actually just ask though so I made a self portrait that got the idea across. I thought it would take 30 minutes but I spent 5 hours on this one photo. Story of my life. Everything always takes way longer than I think. I know I could've put together a reel that was probably decent but if I did that it wouldn't of been as widely shared because it doesn't stand out from reels and agency sites. The main thing I have going for me is for the most part some people like me and want to help.

This portrait of myself got shared dozens of times. I also re-worked my website for clarity and information that would help prospective clients make a decision with videos I’ve made, FAQ, equipment list, and a more thoughtful ‘about me’.

And thanks to friends I had some great jobs in August and September:

New Clients

  • Bon Apetit

  • Deborah Berke Architects

  • Nike

  • La Cocina / Jennifer Lee

Repeat Clients (worked with them earlier this year)

  • Verkada

  • Elite World Group

I've also had 8-10 phone calls about projects and I'm continuing to book through October. I'm currently finishing a treatment for a digital ads project that hopefully becomes a monthly thing and have a soft hold for a documentary shoot that goes multiple weeks. My personal and extended network has been critical for getting work. No other site or network comes close.

I still get one or two inquiries per week so that only continues to get better. We’re probably at the tail end of the hype generated from my blitz. At this point now I feel like I have to really decide if I want to be a shooter that joins a crew or more of a production partner for companies. It’s possible to do both but it just means I have to develop more systems for the latter. I definitely need help but it’s hard for me. I am okay with being hard on myself and pushing but I have a bad habit of letting others slide and then doing the extra work myself.

What I do feel now is immensely busy. Almost overwhelmed with client work, which gives me less time for personal projects like making a short film, camera and lighting tests, and recreations of scenes or commercials. I've got to recalibrate and balance a bit because I do not want to burn myself out. And I think personal projects are crucial to my development as a director and DP. So in October I may take on only 3 projects instead of 5.

Now if you've made it this far - congrats. I don't know if I made every single move perfectly or correctly but I do think I did my best with the knowledge and experience I have so far. You may have done things differently. There is probably a better way with less financial risk and more upside but as calculated as I could be sometimes I go straight off impulse and instinct. Not everything is going to go perfectly right or be a major win but I think if I can continue to deliver consistently then the setbacks are manageable. Getting the camera was a small leap of faith. Telling people I want video work only was a bigger one. I feel more prepared and capable than ever and am super excited for this next year. Onwards and upwards.

p.s.

One of the best things I did for myself since this all started was read The Artists Way and commit to doing Morning Pages nearly every morning. I have filled up an entire notebook and am on my second already. I have two more weeks in the 12 week self-guided course and there's been so much synchronicity, unlearning, and relearning about myself through the pages and exercises that I truly believe it played a major role in this shift.

I also want to shoutout Bag Talk my group chat for all they do. Minnow for being one of the people to encourage me to believe in myself when I was thinking about this. And Carl for giving me his expensive film school education for free through my many many questions. And Ankit for inspiring me to write a more honest “about me”.

Other things I've done to continue my learning and help me focus:

p.p.s. Photodump

  • RTFM - reading the fuckin’ manual

  • Me in a lake near the Adirondacks filming for a sportswear brand

  • Office bathroom selfie - peep the gaff tape holder

  • Two camera setup for a product shoot with models

  • Me standing in for a model

  • The client wanted the doors closed in a hallway for a shot but this one wouldn’t shut. I figured this metal plate was the reason and removed it. Got the shot and put it back on. Always have the right tools

  • Quick filming in what used to be Moby’s old apartment for a non-profit

  • Rojo Cart 1.0 - has my camera, tripod, accessories, sandbags, and stands. Could carry lights but wasn’t needed on this shoot.

  • Shitty Rigs - when your v-mount d-tap and battery d-tap are perpendicular so you just gaff tap the second battery to the top of your rig to power the teradek.

Red Gaskell